I have a simple request: please, please, please just do away with the automated systems that want you to talk to them!
I called Delta today to find out the status of our flight that leaves at the crack of dawn tomorrow, headed straight into a blizzard. But I couldn't get any information because the silly system is not compatible with Southern accents. At least, that's my only theory. Those things can never understand a word I say. It didn't seem to matter how loudly or articulately I yelled "help" into the phone as it requested. It still said in a sugary voice, "I'm sorry. I did not understand you. Please repeat your command."
Rather than losing my mind in the middle of the afternoon for all the office to watch, I slammed the phone down and decided that I would arrive at the airport without a clue as to my fate. It has to be less maddening than trying to get answers from a Yankee automated operator.