I am finding work hard to do today. Not because I'm tired, although I am. But because I am overwhelmed by the task of parenting my sweet girls.
We did not have an easy morning, to put it mildly. Hallie woke up whiny and it went downhill from there. When I dropped them off at school Hallie and Sara had a competition to see who could scream the loudest. I couldn't help but feel like we had singlehandedly disturbed the peace of the entire hallway.
I don't say all of this to whine myself (although maybe that's where H gets it....hmmmm). But I find myself wondering how long it will be this way, this having sweet children one day and tired, whiny, disobedient ones the next. And I'm overwhelmed because I hear a loud answer in my head: Forever. Not because my children are particularly terrible, of course. But because they are children and human, and this is our state. Having been a child myself, I can pretty assuredly say that I never woke up one morning cured of my willful, sinful ways. And I know that Scripture reminds us that we all "fall short" (in the present tense) on a regular basis. I'm reminded of this fact by my own quick temper and harsh speech when I am frustrated with them.
So, where's the hope in all of this exhausted discouragement? How can I continue to trust that this parenting thing will pay off when it feels like we have the same conversation with our toddler on a daily basis? (You know the one--"don't push your sister," "obey Mommy," "please stop pouring your cereal on the floor...")
By God's grace I am hoping in His promises today, even though I'm tempted to throw in the towel...trusting that when we "train them up in the way they should go," they will not depart from it. That Jesus is "mighty to save"--to save me and my children. I'm increasingly amazed by God's willingness to "rejoice over me with singing" despite my sinfulness that must seem like a lot of disobedience and whining to Him, and I'm praying that He would teach me to do the same when I'm more tempted to lose my temper and show my all-too-apparent frustration.
Thanks for hearing my heart on this. Now if I can just focus and get some work done...
We did not have an easy morning, to put it mildly. Hallie woke up whiny and it went downhill from there. When I dropped them off at school Hallie and Sara had a competition to see who could scream the loudest. I couldn't help but feel like we had singlehandedly disturbed the peace of the entire hallway.
I don't say all of this to whine myself (although maybe that's where H gets it....hmmmm). But I find myself wondering how long it will be this way, this having sweet children one day and tired, whiny, disobedient ones the next. And I'm overwhelmed because I hear a loud answer in my head: Forever. Not because my children are particularly terrible, of course. But because they are children and human, and this is our state. Having been a child myself, I can pretty assuredly say that I never woke up one morning cured of my willful, sinful ways. And I know that Scripture reminds us that we all "fall short" (in the present tense) on a regular basis. I'm reminded of this fact by my own quick temper and harsh speech when I am frustrated with them.
So, where's the hope in all of this exhausted discouragement? How can I continue to trust that this parenting thing will pay off when it feels like we have the same conversation with our toddler on a daily basis? (You know the one--"don't push your sister," "obey Mommy," "please stop pouring your cereal on the floor...")
By God's grace I am hoping in His promises today, even though I'm tempted to throw in the towel...trusting that when we "train them up in the way they should go," they will not depart from it. That Jesus is "mighty to save"--to save me and my children. I'm increasingly amazed by God's willingness to "rejoice over me with singing" despite my sinfulness that must seem like a lot of disobedience and whining to Him, and I'm praying that He would teach me to do the same when I'm more tempted to lose my temper and show my all-too-apparent frustration.
Thanks for hearing my heart on this. Now if I can just focus and get some work done...
6 comments:
I am so sorry. Believe me, I know where you are coming from. Some days/weeks are simply marvelous while others you'd rather forget about. We'll be praying for the girls and for the parents (that's you!) love you and hope tomorrow will indeed be a new day :) oh, and we encourage you to pray for us. Jonathan and I feel frustrated more often than you may think. Children are God's gift to help us find where we need more refinement.
Thanks so much for your authenticity, Anita. I know how hard it is to believe the Truth when every emotion inside of you is fighting against it. I will be praying for you today, my friend!
You are so precious and all that hard work and persistence will pay off because you are honoring God in teaching your girls obedience. They will understand one day. It does seem like and endless task. I pray for you every day.
Very wise conclusions Anita, and inspiring. Oh, and don't worry - we all know Hallie got the whininess from her daddy.
anita, sorry i'm just responding to this - i've been meaning to for a few days now. please know this - i love you and respect you and admire you so much as a friend - and in your roles as a wife and a mother. i'm taking lots of notes, and some day i'm going to be asking you lots of questions about how you did such a fabulous job juggling ALL of your jobs. i know you feel overwhelmed sometimes, but know you have lots of people praying for you and jason and your girls (including me, of course :)). your girls are precious (i know not all of the time, but how many of us are??), and one day they will appreciate the loving, thoughtful, God-seeking parents they have. love you friend!
Thank you, sweet friends, for your encouragement. I'm very blessed by you.
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