If You're Going to Steal My Checkbook, Please Head for Anthropologie

The year was 2001, and I was employed at the local Honeybaked Ham over Thanksgiving break (no hair net was involved, but I had a super-cute apron...Kristin, you remember the days). At some point during this week, someone (likely a co-worker) decided to steal my checkbook out of my purse, which was sitting with other purses in the breakroom. Assuming that I had lost the checkbook and that it would turn up in a day or so, I was not concerned about its location. Until the first returned check notice arrived.

You may ask, how did I immediately know that the returned check was not mine, particularly in light of my less-than-stellar bookkeeping at the time? It's simple: the check was to the Fashion Bug in Fairfield. It didn't take much to convince my mother that I had not spent the money at the Fashion Bug, much less that I had not ordered the Fashion Bug credit card that arrived in the mail.

After I filed a police report and my mother spent hours on the phone, wrote several letters, and had many discussions with a woman at Regions Bank, we thought we had put this behind us. Until this past Monday, when a $148 returned check to the Family Dollar turned up on my credit report. Not surprisingly, the check was written in 2001. I think I have resolved this latest little complication. And I know that I should be offended by the immoral self-absorption that would allow someone to steal my checkbook and try to ruin my credit. But, really, here's what gets me...

The thief's locations of choice. If you're going to steal someone's checkbook, and you're going to have a spending spree wherever you want, buying whatever you want, DON'T hit up your local Fashion Bug! For crying out loud, buy something good! What's more, why would you order a credit card in my name, knowing it will go to my address? Are you trying to save me 10% on your Fashion Bug purchase? Thank you ever so much, but please don't bother.

The moral of the story: think before you steal. Be a smart thief. Don't waste your chance at a new plasma TV.